Building authentic relationships with people :
In a world full of fake, selfish & highly manipulative people, authenticity matters.
Being authentic means not wearing a mask. Not trying to impress anyone. It means to not force sweet-talk for short term or long-term gains.
It means to be honest, straightforward and truthful. It means to listen & not judge. To treat your kabadiwala with as much respect as you’d treat the CEO of a fortune 500 company.
Genuine relationships are a long term investment, not a short term game. Like any achievement, forming genuine relationships too requires effort, most often an unconscious effort for altruists like me. For those who are bad with people, I strongly suggest trying the following :
A.) You should try to help everyone and add value in people’s life in whatever way possible.
B.) You must display your genuine self, share your true story, feelings, thoughts and at the same time try to listen, understand & empathize with others.
C.) Focus on finding good in people. See people with a mindset to find hidden gems of positivity in them & focus on only the good they have. Observe and note the bad too but keep that at the back of your mind.
Networking is a little different though. Networking is about connecting people in order to grow your own network. You may or may not derive happiness out of it. However, there is a type of networking I like – It’s called permission networking. You take people’s permission before connecting someone. It leads to more meaningful relationships and a deeper bond b/w people. It shows that you value people’s time & commitments.
Genuine relationships radiate positive vibes, intuition & emotions. You can straight away tell whether a person is genuine or not by the kind of energy they radiate. Only those who are genuinely interested and care for people can understand this. People with integrity & honor find it easy to establish genuine relationships with people. Others struggle hard. They want to but they are just not able to.
Ever been to networking events and similar conferences? Places where people go to exchange business cards? That’s the fake’st shit ever. Business cards are no longer valid for the 21st century – especially when all the contact details can be found online. What matters is establishing that bond.
Let’s say you go to an event where 50 people are present. Instead of trying to exchange cards with 25 people, try to talk to any 10 people patiently & genuinely – with all your heart. Try to know their story, journey and motivations, purpose. Don’t blabber shit – open your mouth only if you’re in a position to say something meaningful (it should be meaningful for the other person) otherwise move on. If you’re able to establish that genuine connect with even just 2 out of the 10 people, you won. You will be 10 times better off than someone who has exchanged 25 cards – trust me on this!
I’m sure you must have come across a lot of fake people in your life – How about those fake boyfriends & girlfriends from your school and college life? Or those cheap marketers on Linkedin who pretend to get to know you and later try to sell you something? Or those click-baits that you see everywhere?
There’s enough of fake shit everywhere. The question to ask yourself is –
Are you adding to it?